Articles

Trusting You Are Loved
A conversation between Paul Bucky & Lew Epstein

Lew Epstein, public speaker and relationship "guru," was recently in Tucson. He traveled with his wife Francine and dear friend Rita Reneaux who teach workshops based on Lew's book Trusting You Are Loved. The book was developed out of 25 years of discussions in Men's and Women's Groups all over the US and London, led by Lew and Francine, guided by Lew's deep understanding and love of the human spirit.

Lew Epstein is a man in whose presence one feels safe and who inspires one to extend the same to others. One could say that in his presence one trusts that one is loved.

Since IFBM's Tod Zelickson first brought IFBM President Paul Bucky to Lew 3 years ago, Lew has made many observations about BMTH. He says, "Be gentle with yourself. Don't beat yourself up. You do that enough already. Be kind to yourself, touch gently."

The following is a conversation about BMTH, healing, and serving others.

Paul's questions are in italics and Lew's thoughts are in regular text.

What is your feeling about this touching that we do? What are we offering people?

I think you have to start first with your relationship with yourself.

Here... such amazing work that you've done. The people who work with you, the people who you teach. I'm so very proud of you.

Being here, I have such amazing inspirations. It's been so good to be here.

I would like to see the other Center in Hawaii, to meet the people who work with you there. Hawaii is like a family.

When I touch you like this, Points 1 & 2 of the Greeting, what's that like for you?

Well, it's a connection and you have touched something. I accept it as your love, and I accept it as where you come from. You are touching; something is needed. And my body trusts you, is open. So what you want it to be doing, it does.

How should we treat people who are sick?

We tell them how sorry you are that they are sick. Tell them something about the sickness Start off from the very, very beginning, so the mind does not have "nothing." Bring that human being, as a partner, in with you. We heal by creating peace "over there" [in that person]. And these touches are like an angel, like an angel. We're not here to frighten people, we learn to forgive.

What's the greatest gift we can give those who are ill or in some way not well?

I think that the way to get in is about how afraid they are. So they withdraw. We are all afraid. We are not the judges.

When you give safety, you give them the whole world. Safety.

I love talking to a group of people who are victims, or whatever... people in the hospitals. And by the time I'm finished, they're going to laugh and they're going to talk to each other, not sit in front of a television. Where is his heart, his spirit, his dreams?

They have to be told. We have to get a message to them from us, something to throw out into the world, by taking care of our families, in the work that we do, and who we are.

I say hello to the dogs, to the cats, to the fish, and to the ducks and to everybody. I say it's GOOD to be alive. It's REALLY GOOD to be alive. Just being here, to be alive.

I want to acknowledge the doctors. And then I want to acknowledge the patients. And last I will acknowledge the nurses. They deserve medals. They have to take care of the patient AND they have to take care of the doctor.

When we, the practitioners, touch other people, how does that help us? What is the gift for the person doing the touching?

That other person is YOU! He is ME! Each of us is our statement to our Creator, and you will create yourself.

I will never, never, never, ever judge you. You may do something and it may bother me, but I would never keep you from doing it. you have to find out things by yourself. But I will never ever judge you. I will always forgive you.

You are a human being in whose presence we are safe. And how much you've done... Thank you.

For information about Trusting You Are Loved, books or workshops, contact the Partnership Foundation at www.partnership.org.

Articles Index